Growing up in Singapore, I was always told that I was too fat, too round, and too tall. In truth, I always felt that way about myself. All my friends were all skinny, petite, and beautiful. Standing next to them, I always felt like a giant. Even my boyfriend I had in Singapore would constantly tell me that I had to lose a few. But that is how it was growing up in Asia where being tiny was a pre-requisite to beauty. I always felt the need to be skinny, I always felt that I was too chubby. I never liked my body and I strove daily to change the way that I looked. It really messed with my self-esteem and my ability to love myself.
After having kids, I started going to the gym a lot more. I had so many hangups about my body, but I know now that it is because of the years of verbal abuse I suffered as an adolescent. I did try to lose some weight but my weight never budged. Even though I am now 30 pounds heavier than I was when I lived in Singapore, I decided that I wanted, no, needed, to do my boudoir session now. I know that I will never look as good as I look today as I will only get older!!! Wrinkles are a bitch to Photoshop.
Even though I was so nervous for my boudoir session, I wanted to do it to prove to myself that I could. I could love myself. I could love my body. I could feel glamorous. I am beautiful. If you had told me 10 years ago that I would be so proud of my body that I would want to share images of myself in lingerie, I would have told you that you were crazy. No way in hell. It is so amazing how different I feel now after my session! After sitting down to edit these images, I can honestly say that I do love my body!
My friend at Allyson Hamilton Photography graciously came to help me take these photos, my friend at Heather Ivy Artistry came to do my hair and makeup, and I edited the pictures you see below. I am so grateful to them for offering their time to help me make my dreams come true! I can finally say that I have the pictures I have always wanted and it is all thanks to them.